Almost
by rufus and lily 4ever
Summary: Pre-Always Will they get the chance to tell each other how they feel?
1. Chapter 1

As they rounded the corner, her heart thudded pushing the blood loudly through her veins. "Wait!" she cried out, she couldn't bear the thought of losing him yet again.

He turned around, his eyes filled with sympathy. He'd never seen her this fragile. He wanted nothing more than to pull her into a tight embrace and just run away from all of their problems. But that's not what they did; all he could do was say something reassuring. "Come on we have to get this guy," he motioned with his hand for her to follow, but she stopped him with her arm pushing past him gun poised.

"What's keeping me here?" she thought. She could lose everything in an instant because her everything was standing right behind her with a reassuring hand on her shoulder. Just then the suspect jumped out of from behind a trash can in the alley, he too equipped with a gun.

"Come on detective; I dare you to shoot me," he barked out, almost as if he thought she couldn't do it. He was grossly mistaken. She fired two shots, one at each knee. With that he collapsed on the ground, but it all seemed too easy. There had to be something or someone else waiting around the next corner.

Meanwhile, her partner celebrated behind her. "Not so fast," she whispered. "There's got to be something else out there. He wouldn't just make it this easy." Just as she saw a man jump out to attack him, that annoying alarm started beeping.

"Ugh not again," she thought while prying her sleep laden eyes open. This was the third time that week that she'd had that dream. It always ended at the same point, just before he got killed. She knew it wasn't real, but she couldn't help thinking it was her subconscious trying to send a message. As she stepped into the shower, she turned up the water until it was scalding. She needed the heat to clear her head. There was no way around it now; if she didn't tell him how she really felt she'd continue to have these awful nightmares. She dressed in a hurry, probably in clothes that completely clashed. She didn't care, the part of her that believed in her dreams had to make sure that he was at least ok.

When she walked into the precinct he was already there waiting by her desk. He looked just as worried as she felt. She came up behind him and said, "Wow, you're here early. What did someone reset your alarm clock?"

He jumped, not expecting to see her so early either. That dream had made him so worried. He had to come in early, just to make sure she was ok. "No I just had this terrible nightmare. I was worried about you that's all," he admitted.

"Really? I had a nightmare too," she said looking at him intensely. He pulled her into the break room then, certain that what he had to tell her was not something that should be said in public. "What is it?" she asked, even though she followed him willingly she had to make it appear as things between them always did, with him chasing after her like a lost puppy. But she knew this wasn't the truth, she needed him just as much as he needed her.

"I'm so glad you're ok," he said while stroking her cheek lovingly. "I just…" he trailed off when she pulled him into a fierce embrace, burying her face in his shoulder.

"I thought you were dead," she rasped out, her voice thick with the tears she was desperately holding back, "I thought I would never get the chance to tell you how much I l…." Just then somebody walked in.


	2. Chapter 2

They broke apart abruptly, while Ryan awkwardly walked over to the coffee machine. "Sorry," he mumbled out, "was I interrupting something?"

"Well," Castle said, but before he could finish his thought Ryan was already out the door. He clearly knew the answer to his own question. "Lets go somewhere," Castle whispered softly into her hair, pulling her into another embrace.

"Okay," she concedes. She knows she shouldn't; they're not supposed to be anything more than friends, she knows this will ruin everything. But she can't live without him right now, so she'll follow him to the ends of the Earth. Wordlessly he takes her hand and they walk through the bullpen together. People avert they're eyes pretending not to notice anything different between the two. They walk deliberately, with purpose, towards the elevator. However, at the last minute Castle pulls her into the star well. She doesn't ask questions she just follows.

As soon as the door slams shut he's touching her all over. "I need you so much," he rasps out before capturing her lips and kissing her passionately. She remains silent except for the gasps she lets escape when he leaves her lips and starts sucking on the spot behind her ear that drives her wild. And before she knows it he has her shirt unbuttoned all the way; his mouth following his hands. That's when she jerks away, surprised that she's let things escalate so fast; he just has that effect on her. Things had gone too far, she to make a choice. She could run and act as if this moment had never happened, or stay and see how their relationship worked out. She chose the former, kissing him once forcefully on the lips before sprinting out the door, leaving a very aroused and confused Castle in her wake.


	3. Chapter 3

The next time it happened they were having a real near death experience. Stuck in a freezer with only a few hours left, Castle decided he was going to make the most of his remaining time. "You got any bars on your phone?" she asked hopefully.

"Wait," he paused to check. "No," he replied, the despair in his evident. "How long do you think we'll last dressed like this?" he asked.

"Not long," she replied, sharing his agony. "Castle, I could use a silver lining right about now," she pleaded.

He enveloped her in a bear hug and whispered, "I wish I had one." They stood like that for a few minutes until she tentatively brushed her hand along his prominent jawline.

"Remember that time in the stairwell at the precinct?" she asked quietly.

"I thought you said we should forget that ever happened," a hint of bitterness creeping into his voice. But he remained holding her because he knew that if anything could buy them time now it was body heat. He couldn't live without her no matter how many times she pushed him away.

"I lied," she said before leaning into his face, just far enough for him to make the final move. She was leaving it up to him. Should he kiss her, or should he do what she did to him and pretend like nothing was happening?

She was irresistible. He diminished the space between them until his lips met hers and the world made sense again.

Her mind lost its ability to form logical thought when she discovered that they're chances of getting out of that freezer were slim to none. She couldn't die without kissing Castle again. Her mind had been constantly replaying their first kiss every free moment she had. When she wasn't thinking about a case she was thinking about Castle and the way she'd come undone more quickly than she even thought possible.

There they stood kissing passionately until Castle groaned in frustration, realizing that he couldn't remove any of her clothing like he'd tried too last time. They were stuck in a freezer; if they were going to have any chance to live they'd have to keep their clothes on. "What's wrong?" she whispered huskily in his ear, meant more as a concerned question, but she was too turned on to control her voice properly.

"I want you so badly," he replied between kisses to her neck, "but we can't. It's too cold."

"I don't care," she breathed out. "If I'm going to die, I want you to have made love to me at least once."

He didn't have to be told twice. He was in the process of unbuttoning her jeans while she fiddled with his belt when Detective Ryan burst in, once again catching them in a compromising position.


End file.
